Tired of being a positional leader? Looking for how to become a better leader that people would love and respect?
Or perhaps, you have an interest in self-leadership for personal effectiveness.
In this article, you will be learning the core skills of highly effective leaders.
You will discover the qualities Leaders like Jesus demonstrated that moved people to their ideologies, loved, and were highly referenced.
I moved from a struggling mom and wife to a woman of influence in my little sphere using these strategies.
Related article: How to Become A Better Person
How To Become A Better Leader Summary Guide
- Build a core Self Identity
- Develop A powerful people-oriented Ideology/vision (motivate & inspire a sense of ownership of shared objective) that people would love.
- Develop an admirable character of love (see how your behavior affects what others think and feel about you)
‘Machinery doesn’t perform better or worse based on what it thinks about you and how you make it feel, while humans do’.
from: https://harvard business review
What is Leadership & Who is a Leader?
Learning how to become a better leader requires that we first understand what leadership is all about.
First, leadership has nothing to do with position, age, or title.
It is not an entitlement or honor earned by only a few sets of people.
it involves developing effective self and relationship management skills anybody can master.
A leader is anybody who can motivate and inspire a sense of ownership of a shared vision and maximize the potential/efforts of others through a process of self and social influence.
It is easy to get people to embrace a vision when they have an interest in it.
How to become A better Leader Part1; The Mindset of Leaders
How Did Jesus and Other Great Religious and Political Leaders Do it?
To learn how to become a better leader, the first thing you must do is to have the mindset of a leader.
And what is that mindset? A heroic mindset.
The mindset of a leader aims to lift the pains of people regardless of the consequences.
Imagine when someone promises to end the suffering of the people. A powerful message/promise/vision.
Jesus and most religious leaders were messengers of hope. ‘ Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men’.
The Focus was on the People
They came to fix the people’s mess. Jesus, Mohamed, etc- came with powerful promises.
‘Follow me, and I will give you a kingdom where pains or agony exist not’. A promise of eternal life and reconciliation with God.
It is the ability to become the ‘sugar’ to your ‘followers.
How to Become A Better Leader; Become The ‘Sugar’ People Want.
Leadership is about understanding human behavior. Understand what people want, and genuinely come up with their solution.
People only go to places where they would gain something.
Google is a market leader because they provide great market value.
Therefore, anyone or organization that will give people what they truly want will gain their followership. Period.
It is a simple law of attraction.
It means you have to understand how people behave.
How to Become A better leader That People Love & Follow; What Do People Like?
The search for how to become a better leader ends when you understand what people want or crave.
So the question is, what do people want?
- People are attracted to people or missions that will benefit them eg missions that bring hope or succor to their troubled hearts.
- Humans love people they can rely on.
- We love people who treat us with care and respect.
So, to become a better leader that people will follow, you must master the above factors.
Develop Personal Ideas or Vision That Benefits The People & Is Worth Pursuing.
I do not intend to over-stretch this point. If you are wondering how to become a better leader, then, go review your personal or organizational vision.
Like ants gather around sugar, when people sense, or see that your ideas, project, or vision will benefit them immensely, they follow.
If it is not about the people, discard it.
Come up with projects, ideas, and visions that will genuinely benefit people.
Ask yourself; how will this (whatever you are doing) benefit the people?
Let your vision give people hope of a glorious destiny and how you can get them there.
“I don’t know what your destiny will be, but one thing I know’ the only ones among you who will be happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve.”
-Dr. Albert Schweitzer
‘Anyone who seeks to be great amongst you must wash the other’s feet.
It means you must be willing and able to (develop capacity) to solve the or a specific problem for the or a specific people.
“Forget yourself for others and others will not forget you.”
A. C. Gab.
How to Become A Better Leader Part 2;
Effective Self Leadership Skill. (People love people/things they can rely on).
The next step to becoming a better leader that people want to follow is to understand effective self-leadership.
Self-leadership entails the ability to know yourself and bring in the discipline and reliability required to influence others.
Those who develop the mental toughness required to get through life are great achievers.
And I hope to educate us on your to build the mental capacity to follow through.
My Journey To Self- Discovery & Leadership Responsibility
Surprisingly, becoming a better leader has never been my priority as a human being.
The reason is that I am the last child in my family. And so, I never regarded leadership as something of interest.
But when I became a mom of two kids, subconsciously, I knew much was required of me and that was when I began to rethink leadership.
I felt I was under-performing in my ability to lead (relate with my kids, partner, and those in my circle of influence) wasn’t productive to me. I felt misunderstood and unloved.
And this was the point of self-realization for me.
I knew I had a lot to learn about leading people (my kids and those that looked up to me in my household) and I was ready to learn.
But that was a wrong approach to leadership, effective leadership is an understanding that you are the follower.
Can You Follow you?
So, to do it right, before you set out to lead others, let me help you master leading yourself.
Leading Yourself
Stop trying to lead people, do all you can to lead yourself.
Imagine the power to set any goal and achieve it?
Leading yourself is more difficult than leading others.
The ability to love yourself, and know and trust yourself, is a process that many are not willing to embrace.
Becoming a Better Leader; Starts with Self Knowledge/Self-awareness
Self-knowledge is the hallmark of effective leadership.
To become a better leader, you must discover who you are, how you want to serve (what you want out of life) and the discipline and belief to get there.
The essence of this is to eliminate low or over-rated self-esteem.
Bullies do not have a clear self-identity and do not know their functionality as human beings.
Know Who You Are;
Who are you as a human being? The answer to this question will help you if you want to learn how to become a better leader.
I use to over-think this question, but it is really simple.
Oprah Winfrey puts it straight; ‘you are a universal being, A Spirit having a physical experience’.
Friends, we are gods. A spiritual being, created in the image and likeness of a spirit (God) with power and essence.
To act less of what you are is an insult to the creation.
I Need You To Stop Functioning at The Physical Level Only.
Life is not about ‘hustle’. To become a better leader, you must employ the whole of yourself.
The spiritual, mental, and physical aspects of you.
Spiritual beings, manifest things from the inside out. We create our realities based on what we believe or have within.
Leaders Understand & Trust Their Powers
Our powers lie within our minds and spirit.
Our ability to think that something is possible, and keep searching until we find it is not just a cliche, it is our reality.
It is a law of attraction. We find or attract what we think and believe.
A person who doesn’t know, understand or operate with this law will approach life from a physical perspective only.
And will end up frustrated because he would keep producing the results or outcomes, he doesn’t want.
To get anything out of life, know that you have the power to produce it by simply believing you can and then applying your physical self to it.
The Question Isn’t if It is Easy, The Question is, Is it Worth It?
This is where a lot of people fail in life. if you want to become a better leader, develop the mindset of sticking to your vision.
According to a leadership video I recently saw by Mute Efe, he said that people always look for easy ways. But leaders ask themselves the question; Is it worth it?
Define what you want before you embark on any project, and decide if it is worth your time and effort.
Because this is what will keep you going during challenging times.
The answer often is what decides whether you stay put on your goal or back out.
Trust is a Bankable Resource, Develop It Consciously.
If you are looking for how to become a better leader, then value integrity.
Don’t have integrity? You are losing out big time.
The reason you lack integrity (your words conflict with your deeds) is that you haven’t counted the cost.
Get this. It is only those who put themselves in questionable positions that have to deal with issues of integrity.
Secondly, I learned early enough that trust is a resource you can cash out on.
People with integrity are loved, respected, and relied on.
So, I try to tally my words and deeds. And if for any reason, I break someone’s trust, (for example my kids) I take the pain to explain myself.
Trust is a resource, you can bank on, stop jeopardising it.
Joy
When people know you as someone they can trust, you win their hearts and followership. Don’t complicate it.
How to Become A Better Leader Part3; Effective People/Relationship Management Skillset (People Love & Respect Those Who Respect Them).
If you are looking for how to become a better leader, then consider working on your relationship skills.
This is where a lot of people fail leadership tests woefully. People skill.
People love and follow those who respect them.
I Use To think That People Skill Belong To Extroverts Only
But when I became conscious of the need to lead (relate with) my kid better and be seen as a great mom, I knew I had to develop this skill.
If I can develop people skills, anyone can. It is just like learning any subject or language, you get better around people, by applying simple but effective mindset changes.
Here are a few People Relationship mindsets that helped me improve my People/Relationship skills.
Be Comfortable with Yourself (fear of being disrespected shouldn’t stick with you)
I remind myself daily that people don’t owe me respect or loyalty. They do not have to ‘obey’ me to prove my importance.
I have self-respect and love. I am in awe of who I am.
This mindset has helped me become comfortable when people disobey me or even disrespect me.
People Would Not Always Do it My Way or Respect Me
It doesn’t matter if I am the boss, senior in the room, or most influential, people (my subordinates inclusive), would not always do it my way.
It doesn’t even matter if I am right or they are wrong.
I am comfortable with them being strong-headed or strong-willed.
To Become A Better Leader, Understand that People Are Deserving of Your Love Whether They Earn It or Not
I have learned to make room for people’s faults. This is a people/ relationship skill you must imbibe if you want to become a better leader.
Unless you want to live in isolation. But if you are going to work with people and have friends or family, develop a mindset of tolerance
You are not doing it for them, you are doing it because you have an understanding of human behavior.
Factor in The Human Weaknesses, Make Excuses for Them.
Each one of us. We are capable of hurting each other over our selfish interests.
A wise leader or anyone with people skill understands this. And makes room to accommodate this ‘human factor’, as long as it isn’t life-threatening.
I use to think I could forgive people easily until I got married.
There are times, those you love and respect will breach your trust, get angry, and yell if you have to, but let it go.
this is a relationship skill/mindset I try to imbibe daily.
Respect Those in Lower Positions Than you, You May Bank on This Someday
A few days ago I walked into an office and I observed how the ‘Boss’ talked to her staff.
‘Just because you pay their salaries doesn’t give you the right to disrespect them’. I thought to myself.
But, I quickly saw that She had no idea, she was losing more disrespecting her staff than she was gaining.
What is she losing?
Their love and respect. They may fear you and ‘respect’ your person, but they do not like you.
You gain more by showing respect to people no matter who they are. This is how to become a better leader.
The Principle of Kindness
Great leaders are willing to inconvenience themselves just to ensure people around them are comfortable.
About two years ago, I began a conscious journey to becoming a better version of myself, as I mentioned earlier.
I noticed that I didn’t have an effective relationship/social skills and I decided to work on these skills. I wasn’t looking to become a better leader, I just wanted to become a better me.
One tool that has worked for me the most was kindness.
I became very willing to inconvenience myself, to ensure people around me were comfortable.
The result was wonderful. People could sense my genuine and peaceful tendencies.
How to Become A Better Leader; Conclusion
We all can learn how to become better leaders by first learning how to become better persons ourselves.
One core skill of every leader is people/relationship management skill. The ability to live with and influence people with your behavior could be the greatest stepping stone between ordinary leaders and great leaders.
Lead yourself and others with love.
I hope to hear from you about your leadership challenges as well as victories.
for personal chats, feel free to reach me via joy@betteryouinfo.com.
I do reply to messages.
Cheers.
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