Are you looking for an article to show you how to be more patient and less irritable with yourself and others?
Perhaps you have been told to be more patient.
But have anyone told you how? I know they didn’t.
In this free course, I will be sharing the exact tools and principles that have helped me become more peaceful and patient with myself and others.
And I know it will help you too.
Related Article: How to Forgive And Let Go of Anger.
But Who Am I and Why Should I be Qualified To teach You This?
Well, my name is Joy, I am a self-trained behavioral change consultant.
And I will be sharing a little of my life experiences as we move through this topic to show you how to be more patient and less irritable.
Why Should You Listen To Me Teach you How to be more Patient?
Just a little story of what happened today, 9th January 2022.
We had just closed from service.
I, the kids, and my partner headed for a shopping complex to get some toys for the kids.
As soon as I got into the car, I noticed it was too hot. I wanted all the windows turned down to allow some air.
But my husband thought otherwise.
He felt the AC would circulate shortly after we hit the road and I would be cool.
But seriously, I thought otherwise.
However, He felt I was impatient.
Of course, I was irritated.
And a series of arguments would have ensued but I quickly remembered myself and I kept cool.
What Did I Remember And How Did It Suddenly Help Me Turn on my Cool?
I will tell you as we digest this topic; how to be more patient and less irritable.
Well, I remembered that I do not have to be angry over this at all.
That I had options, and alternative ways I could express my emotions at that moment and I decided to make the best of my choice.
This is what it means to be emotionally intelligent,
How To Be More Patient 1; Become Aware (When You Are Angry or Impatient)
The first step to learning how to be more patient and less irritable is to become emotionally intelligent.
By that I mean, you become aware (conscious) of how you are feeling or beginning to feel at the point of irritation.
Here you move from unconsciously reacting and being impatient to becoming consciously aware that you are impatient.
Please do not be. We are still discussing the topic- of how to be more patient and less irritable.
Take my story above for example.
While we were in the car having different views about turning down the car windows, I was aware that I was becoming angry.
I was equally aware that I had the power to choose how I reacted to the discussion/situation.
I was conscious of my emotions.
The reason you have been struggling with anger, impatience, and irritability, is because you have been acting unawares
How to More Patients and Less Irritable2; Mastering Awareness
How did I get to that point where I get to be aware or conscious of my anger or emotion amidst irritation?
Patience like any other action in life is a skill, you get better by practice.
But I do not want to make that statement and leave you confused. I will take you behind the scene of my practice.
Here is How My Journey Started -And where You Should Begin step 0
To learn how to be more patient and less irritable first realize that being impatient makes you look irresponsible and stupid.
My journey started in my Bathroom-where I had an ‘aha’ moment in 2019.
I suddenly realized how impatient and irritable I was as a human being
I wrote about it in this post: How to change your life for the better; My Story of transformation.
I became aware that being easily irritated and reacting to the slightest provocation wasn’t serving me well.
I felt stupid each time I reacted in such a manner.
And dear reader, that is the first step if you want to become more patient and less irritable.
Next Step on How To Become More Patient; Proactive Replacement
The fact, that you are searching on Google on how to be more patient and less irritable, is a positive step.
Being out of control of your emotions makes you look stupid, unlovable, and irresponsible.
And nobody wants to be out of control of their emotion.
The next simple step?
What will you rather do, when you find yourself in angry or irritable situations?
Let’s get Back To My Story
Still discussing how to be more patient and less irritable-using my story as a case study.
We had different views about how we thought the window should be left after the car has been locked up for a long time.
I wanted the windows down while allowing some air into the car-for health reasons (in my opinion).
He (my husband) felt we have allowed enough air already, besides, the AC would do the cooling.
I got irritated, but quickly remembered I was getting irritated and decided to switch on my cool mode instead.
Now, someone who doesn’t understand how important being emotionally fit is, could misunderstand my action at this point as cowardly or foolish.
But who loses in a fight like this?
Both of us! Plus the kid’s feelings would get hurt.
Note: We usually are not offended by others, we took offense.
Anyways, How Was I Able To Keep my cool? I Changed My Ideas About Anger Some Time Ago
I had practiced alternative ways to act during angry or irritable situations.
What did I exactly do?
I wrote down how important peace was to me.
I wrote that ‘keeping quiet and choosing peace over fight and argument, meant I had inner strength‘.
This Inner strength thing sounded more appealing to me that being the winner of a stupid fight!
So, I had learned how to be more patient and less irritable with myself and others- by proactively replacing my inner thoughts, ideas, and belief about anger.
I have settled my wrong beliefs about fighting and anger.
The Easiest Way To Change A Behavior?
Is to change your ideas or beliefs about the behavior.
In behavioral science, to change a behavior, you simply change the beliefs you have about that behavior.
In the case of learning how to be more patient with yourself and others, you simply have to understand that;
- Being impatient is self-destructive (makes you look stupid and unlikable before others)
- Once you identify this change of belief, the next thing is to encode a new set of beliefs.
- By that I mean, you think of or write down how you would rather act and why you would rather act that way instead of getting irritated.
- Practice it until you become conscious of your new belief when triggered.
Remembering is Key-Meditation Could help
So while trying to learn how to be more patient I suggest you begin a simple meditation practice.
This is because becoming conscious of the moments of anger or irritability takes time and practice to master.
And making out time to meditate on your new values and beliefs helps you commit them to memory.
So, here is what you can begin doing.
Gratitude Meditation Practice to help you Commit Your New Beliefs to Memory
This simple gratitude meditation practice will help you improve your memory and master how to be more patient.
-First thing as you wake up in the morning, while still on your bed lying with your back.
-Take a deep breath in, and exhale (do this 3 times).
-Take a moment and reflect on whatever has brought Joy to you in life.
-Remember who you are choosing to become and why 9for example, being patient makes me feel happy and feel cool about myself)
-Rehearse what alternative action you could take (being quiet and choosing not to fight) in anger (strength)
-Why is this action important to you?
End the session by choosing to live through love- for yourself and others
How to be more patient and less irritable- Understanding Your Why
This is very key when learning how to be more patient in life.
You must clearly understand the benefits of becoming less irritable.
Also, understand the pains of continuing as an impatient and irritable person.
This is important because it helps your mind understand what you are trying to achieve. It also helps you subconsciously win the battle of breaking the habit of irritability even before you start.
This is because our mind hates pain and loves pleasure.
Once your mind perceives pain it aids you in avoiding or rejecting such behaviors.
Imagine What The World could Be if We all were a little more patient
Imagine if we all could learn how to be more patient and less irritable with one another.
The world would become a better and safer place.
It all starts with becoming aware that such behavior is not serving you and that you can replace it with an alternative behavior
secondly, you hold yourself accountable for becoming better until it becomes easy to act on this new behavior.
I am excited that you read to this point and I hope it was easy and practical enough for you.
I would like to hear from you as regards how you are going about self-control and anger management.
Feel free to drop your comments or questions in the comment box.
PS- on How to Be More Patient
Behavioral change topics like this happen to be my core passion-both as my area of experience and expertise.
If you struggling with any behavioral issues such as addiction or habit and you had like me to be your coach, do chat me up via the WhatsApp chat button on my page to join my coaching program.
You can also shoot me a personal email at firstname.lastname@example.org
I wish you success and Love.
Related Article: How to Forgive And Let Go of Anger.
What out for my next article; How to be more patient with kids